Shallow Souls

There is a feeling of something brewing, something imminent on the horizon, something looming around the corner.

My heart rate increases and body temperature elevates. Something is changing, there is a shift taking place. I tell myself to, “Just ride out the waves… It will show its face eventually.”

Could it be? Am I resisting denial?

The billows are rolling in.

“It’s here, you must deal with it!” I say as I grip the shoulders of my conscience.

I’ve ignored the nipping at my heels far too long. No longer can I shoo this monster called Reality away. I succumb to the arrest and temporary torture.

I walk slowly towards the mirror with fetters and chains binding my ankles and wrists.

I squint to see if the reflection is that of one I know.

She “kinda” looks like me… she “resembles” me.

I try to bow my head in shame, but a firm hand grabs me by the nape of my neck squeezing tightly, forcing me to look at the reflection that “resembles” me.

A voice from within yells, “Face it, it’s you!”

Warm tears stream down my flushed cheeks and the taste of salt moistens my lips.

No, you don’t look like you once did. Yes, you look aged beyond your years. How did this happen?

You let yourself go and justified this metamorphosis by hiding behind the walls of traditions of men.

So I packed on the pounds and wore a shroud not keeping up with the trends deciding it’s better to be out than in. My face filled out and waistline expanded. Dimples in my thighs is not what I ever imagined.

“Don’t appear to be desirable… don’t be a stumbling block to your brother!” are comments I hear echoing in my head. I cover my ears tightly as to muffle out the sounds of those who've oppressed me.

I muster the strength to look at this aged face and un-pleasingly plump figure.

As I look in the mirror, my mind reflects on the lost loves over the years.

The Shallow incompetent souls who had not the strength, nor courage to deal with a woman of my fortitude and stature.

Shallow souls that could love me for me behind closed doors, but felt that they could “do better” outside the confines of 8007 Merrill Ave 3^rd. Floor East.

Shallow souls who posed as midnight marauders attempting to steal my esteem and worth.

Shallow souls reminding me of what I used to look like, who I used to “be”

Shallow souls trying to keep a foot on my neck suffocating me with scriptures purposely taken out of context, shielding me from the truth.

Could I too be a shallow soul dodging photo ops and staying out of the limelight?

You are still the same You! You are fearfully and wonderfully made! I boast in this supernatural confidence I have gained.

If I have been granted another day, I have been granted the grace to make this journey back to my confident secure self.

I’m not to be defined by those who are spiritually blind and lack the vision of the One who created me. I now can dance again to the beat of the drum that I once knew so well.

Head raised high, chin up to the sky. Any changes to be made will be made by me as I see fit.

So, goodbye to the fetters and chains. I’m no longer bound.

No more Shallow Souls allowed!